Bad Dreams
by even angels fall
Summary: Going closer to her, he heard her intake of breathe. "Don't come any closer Sesshomaru; I knew you would be coming tonight. I could feel you in the city, pin point your exacted location, every day and night since I've been back... on Hiatus for now.


**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha and it's Characters are the property of Rumiko Takashi

**A/N:** I posted this fic on Dokuga in the hope that I would once again find the inspiration that had pledged me to write the story... unfortunately after many discution with other authors, I have yet to put the next chapter in words. Hopefully posting it here will help remove the writer's block that is still plaguing me.

Reviews a VERY welcome.

FT/EAF

The night sky was blissfully calm, the star tinkling away, unaware of the sound of the streets below that was breaking the calm atmosphere they were creating. High above the city streets, the waxing moon was watching over a lone figure. The chilling wind whispering memories of the past, voices of unforgotten friends. Hurt and resignation surrounded the lonesome figure standing on the ledge, like a dark cloud of unforgiving actions and regrets. From this far up the voices of the city could not be heard, but could be seen. A crowd was gathering a cross the street, looking up, pointing fingers, and watching as the event occurred around them.

Standing there, the forlorn figure was vacillating in the forceful wind, obsidian locks of hair blown by said airstreams whipped at her face. Sirens coming closer, light flashing, blue and red, indication that something terrible was about to happen. Police cars and an ambulance bus were already stationed to make a perimeter around the front of the building.

Steps on the metal stairs echoed around as police officers and psychiatrist made their way up the stairs. Another night, another soul to save, he told himself. Of course he couldn't always save them, but he tried. It was his only way to redeem himself. After what had happened to his pack, studying psychology had seemed fitting. Fitting and justified.

Pushing the metal door open, he was standing on top of the roof of one the highest building of Tokyo. The 54 floor building was housing the Ritz-Carleton Hotel on 6 of its top floors. There, on the roof, she was standing. Her midnight hair whipping around her as the direction of the wind changed one more time. Her back was turned on them, but he knew who she was. Unlike the police officers who all thought she was one of the many clients that the Hotel housed, this was not the first time he had seen her; nor would it be the last, he vowed to himself.

Her green plaited skirt and white shirt was a give away to her identity. Yet, after so many years, he had thought that her attire would have changed, but then again, every school and University district in Japan had their colors, and he could only assume she was still living in the same district as she was so many years ago. To her, the time spent apart would only have been a few years. To him, it was centuries since he had last seen her. Yet, he could still remember how her scent had changed with the years spent side by side with his half-brother. She had matured and became a woman. How her innocence withstood even with all the males that surrounded her every day life was a mystery to him.

Her scent hit him full force as the wind blew in his face, changing direction once again. Unfortunately, this time it wasn't the sakura blossom and vanilla scent he could remember so easily that his senses registered, it was the despair, the grief, and mostly the tears that aroused a part of him he had thought long ago buried: his beast. This sweet yet so powerful girl, the one that has reduced Naraku to nothing but pink dust, was now diminished to a shell of her former self.

It still amazed him how humans could let themselves become nothing more but vacant vessels, walking bodies of hurt, deception, and regrets. How could anyone be so blind as to not see the pain that was written in their eyes and their body language?

Motioning for the police officers to stay back, he took a step closer to her, and said her name softly, afraid of frightening her, but mostly afraid that she might take the last step to a very high, and killer fall. It was her reaction, or to be more precise, the fact that there was no reaction on her part that got to him. She didn't flinch, didn't even turn to look at him. Most people would have registered that they weren't on their own anymore. The metal stairs alone would alert the person of the cops ascending. For most people a threat would be emitted for the cops to stay away, to go away or otherwise they would do something. Funny how most of the people he had met while doing this job, never really meant to be standing where they were, it just kind of happened when they were faced with something they couldn't deal with anymore. Most people really didn't want to jump. But not her; in a situation like this one, it would seem she didn't even bat an eyelash at the thought that she wasn't alone, much less moved to proclaimed to the cops and himself that she would jump if they came anywhere near her. She just stood there, her back to them, completely ignoring them.

A small shiver ran up his spine at the thought that maybe… just maybe she was too far gone to care. He had seen that happen, more then once; people, vacant shell, a shadow of their former self, truly not caring anymore about their love ones, family pets, or people that surrounded them. They were always his hardest cases. He would never let them alone, less give them the joy of being by themselves to bring up the courage to jump. The hardest cases were always the most gratifying ones, but her indifference to him, he had to admit, scared him.

He heard one of the police officer clear his throat, as if he was trying to catch someone's attention, making him turn around and giving the cops one of his famous, well-placed, narrow-eyes glares. He needed all his focus on the girl standing on the ledge, but before he could turn back around to face the girl, said police officer spoke up; apparently it was his attention the police officer had been trying to catch. "Dr. Taisho, you do realize that this girl is violating this private propriety. The sooner we are gone from the premises the better." The police officer said. As if it hadn't come to mind to Sesshomaru that this building was someone's property. He narrowed his eyes even more. 'Rookie!' he thought distastefully before he saw one of the older policeman elbow the younger one. A twitch of his lips made it almost into a smirk before it disappeared. Not as satisfying as if he would have done it himself, but it was probably better that way, otherwise, the poor rookie might not have a side at all to elbow into. He flexed his claws at his side and tried to relax - as relax as he would aloud himself to be in a situation like this one.

Taking a step closer to the girl, he looked at her as memory of a long forgotten past came back; A young women, no older then 18 years old in nigen time, screaming her heart out, to suddenly becoming quiet only to emit a shrieked "OSUWARI", making his step-brother fall face first in the dirt, before jumping down the old well to never to be seen again. He had thought she had died that day, but was soon inform by the kitsune that the Great Taiyoukai didn't know much about said girl… woman now. Apparently she had been from the future and the well was in fact a "time-traveling device".

Sesshomaru could still see in his mind eye, Inuyasha, many years later, still trying to pass through the time portal, digging until he had blood running from his claws. It had evolved to a point to which it had droved the half-demon insane. In the end, it was Sango who had the courage and the strength to kill him. His beast had taken over and it had attacked Sango and Miroku's village, destroying and killing almost every thing and everyone in the said village before he was stopped.

Sesshomaru had wondered then, and was still wondering now, what had happened that the girl, now woman, had never returned. Was it something that he had done? Or was it the Kami that had decided her time-traveling years were over? He would have had to ask her to understand what had caused his brother to lose the sacred battle with himself, if not only to understand what had happen to her. Surely something must have driven her to the edge of sanity for her to be standing where she was.

The woman he remembered joyous, full of live, but mostly loving life, was not and surely could not be the same person that was standing in front of him. The thought that she was lost to him enter his mind and wouldn't leave. It was then he remembered that losing hope was not the best in his position. He changed tactics, hoping but mostly trying to get her to face him. Maybe if she saw him, she would be so shock that she would easily be talked down from the ledge.

Going closer to her, he heard her intake of breathe. "Don't come any closer Sesshomaru; I knew you would be coming tonight. I could feel you in the city, pin point your exacted location, every day and night since I've been back. You do not need to come closer for me to remember or feel you." Even her voice didn't sound the same as he remembered.

To say that he was shock was to say the least. Not to say that he was hurt by her action. This woman from his past had known he was around, yet she had made no move to get in touch with him. What was more shocking was that he hadn't felted her once. How could that be? Undoubtedly he was stronger then her! The Taiyoukai had always been stronger then any miko he had met in the past. Sure, he had been impressed with the display of power the woman before him had shown in the last battle, but … was that enough for her to cover her scent, her energy, her power? "If I had wanted for you to know that I was around, believe me you would have known, mi Lord. The decision was all mine; I did not need a reminder of the past, a reminder in the form of a Demon lord. I have decided, long ago that what happened in Edo was to stay there. I loved your half-brother so much; it almost destroyed me when I realized that I couldn't go back." It was then that Sesshomaru realized what was wrong with her voice. It was so cold and distant; he could almost feel the chilling anger and bitterness that was filling her to the core.

Looking at the squared shoulders, straight back, and head held high, she was the perfect female replica of himself back in the days; when he didn't know that life could be a wonderful thing and that there was something out there other then the joy of hunting and killing. When she mentioned his brother, he had a jab of jealousy and pain that he quickly pushed aside. Had he not been the Powerful Taiyoukai that he was, he might have had a hard time with her admission of love for his brother, but as it was, he tried to let it roll of his back like water rolls of the back of a duck.

"Miss Higurashi," He was cut in his sentence by a very unsettling laugh; one that was coming for the woman on the ledge. "Don't tell me you have suddenly learned what respect is. Here I thought it was beneath you to talk to ningen females." Her quasi-insolence had his beast roaring, demanding respect, but most of all, demanding submission on her part, but she was not the first female to talk to him this way, and he knew she wouldn't be the last.

The logic portion of his brain knew that he would never achieve such a feat, but the more animalistic part wanted to have dominance over the woman, over everything in his life.

"Hn" was his response, before he could continue with what he was about to say before she interrupted, rather impolitely. "Miss Higurashi, I would really like if we could talk together. Do you think it would be possible?" He asked, not as politely as he would usually be, but the girl had always had a power over him. A power he was unsure he could deny her.

She finally looked over her shoulder at him and then at the squad that was standing behind him, only to turn back to face the street below. "Interesting; I never knew you to be a demon who talked. If I remember correctly, you were the one who liked it better when he used his sword." He couldn't help the smirk to appear on his lips as the double meaning of the words hit home. "Tell your goons to leave us alone. I never needed a crowd to perform before; I certainly don't need it now." The smirk was efficiently erased from his lips as her word hit a particular sensible string; one that hadn't been played with in centuries. "Watch what you say to me, miko!" was his growled response to her impertinence. A giggle was heard before she spoke up again. "There's the Sesshomaru I remember. Giving orders and not taking shit from anyone. Almost makes me miss the good old days… ALMOST!"

The cops that had been eavesdropping on the conversation between the two of them started looking at each another. The choice of words, the expression and the innuendos made them wonder. It would seemed like what was heard was not what was really happening. The conversation had double meaning written all over it. It was understood that it was not the first time the young woman and the good Doctor had met. The title she had given Sesshomaru and the time period she had mention left them troubled. Surprisingly, the cops all agreed that it was probably for the best to leave them alone. So without the command of Dr. Taisho, the squad made their way down the very steep, metal stairs, leaving behind the Demon Lord and the Miko to deal with their problems.

Hearing foot steps behind him, Sesshomaru knew they were alone. Good thing, this conversation would probably be getting very personal in a very short time. "Kagome," he said softly, before turning back to the woman before him. She had always been pretty, but now, with the years past, she was beautiful, even more so as the moonlight hit her black as night hair. "I'm not here to reminiscent about that past." His voice took a rougher edge. The demon lord couldn't let himself become soft. He had never been soft with his other patients; she wouldn't and shouldn't be different. "I'm not the…" what he was about to say was cut short, again, as he heard the snorted laugh coming from the woman on the ledge.

"Please!" the 24 year old woman said. "We both know that's exactly why you are here. Your whole job is about reminiscing the past." She said with almost disdain in her voice. It was chilling the demon lord to the bones to hear her voice so full of anger. "I never knew you to be a liar Sesshomaru. I'm disappointed in you." The woman turned around to face him, dangerously closer to the ledge, and it took everything in the psychiatrist mind and body to not go to her, pick her up, and drag her away from the top of the building. "I'll admit," he said "my career is base on the shadow of past and what happened to everyone after you left…" So much needed to be said, yet he couldn't bring himself to ask her the question that was burning his lips.

He felt his youki being pushed inside of him, further then he could do it himself, as pure pink power surrounded him. For a second he was sure that she was trying to purify his beautiful bottom, until he realized that she was just trying to overpower him, like they had done many times before. Rising his youki to the surface he pushed against her miko power, making his magenta and blue meet and clash with the pink and white that was Kagome's power. These power battles had been one of his favorite moment spend by her side. A few minute past before she let him win the battle, but he knew he had unfairly won because, unlike many years before, she was not winded and sweat was not pearling on her brows from the strain of keeping up with him.

"Oh! The Great Lord of the Western Land is not so great anymore, is he?" she said looking at him straight in the eyes. The look of contempt mix with so much rage took his breathes away. If looks could kill… he would be dying a slow and painful death at the hand of someone he had once called a friend. "You have lost a lot of your oh so great powers, milord" a wicked smile form on her cold lips "I could purify your ass before you could even blink." She said almost satisfied at the idea that she could kill him. "It would only serve you right, after what you did to me." She said to herself, looking at the surrounding buildings.

"Whatever do you mean?" He asked surprised by her choice of words. He suddenly had the coldest shiver he had ever felt pierce through his soul. Could she really be angry about something that had happened 550 years ago? It was then the doctor remembered that for her it had only been a few years… and he knew that humans were prone to holding grudges for no apparent reasons.

Cold and empty ice blue eyes met with his golden ones. "Inuyasha meant the world to me... If not for the undead bitch and you, we would have been together...forever" Tried as he might, he couldn't suppress the growl that had formed in his throw at what the woman had said. "Don't growl at me... I blame you, I blame you for everything." A lightening bolt flashed in the woman's eyes as her voice rose. "You did it on purpose." She said with venom. "You knew he was coming and you didn't stop. You wanted him to find us. You had always been jealous of my feelings for Inuyasha and you made sure that he would hate me for the rest of my life." He felt her power, as much as he words, punch him in the stomach as if she had done it herself.

Anger and hurt were two emotion the demon lord was not very familiar with, but he knew that was exactly what he was feeling right now. He needed to remember that this was not personal and he knew he had to let her vent out her frustration, but how could he not take it personally when she was accusing him of something he had no control over?

"At the spring that night, it never crossed your mind that maybe I didn't want an audience, did it? You never thought maybe_** I **_wanted to keep it a secret?" Disdain was dripping on every word she said to him. He knew exactly what night she was talking about but the young woman had no idea how precious said night had been for him. "Our little fuck sessions, because that's all that it was… I wasn't blind like someone else I know!" she said looking at him straight in the eyes. "I didn't love you! I never did!" As she said those words she propelled her purifying power on him, pushing him back a few steps back to avoid any damage to his physical person.

"You were blinded by your own love." Again the venom in her words hit a cord inside of him that was only hanging by a mare thread of hope. "Those whispered words while you were in me where whispered to the one I truly loved… and it surely wasn't you. You were nothing but second best, the brother to replace the one that didn't love me enough." She said letting Sesshomaru have another push of power, making him take a few steps back again.

"I never meant for Inuyasha to find out about us that way. Surely you know that." The Taiyoukai said quietly, trying to regain some common ground with the woman in front of him. He understood that she was angry with him for what had happened at the spring, but to his defense, he had been so in trance with her body, with showing her how much she had meant to him that he had let his most basic guard down. The rest of the world had been totally forgotten and the possibility that Inuyasha walked in on them hadn't even crossed his mind. "I don't believe you when you say you didn't love me... it showed in the way you moved against me, the way you looked at me, the way you touched me, the way you smiled every time you saw me coming. You loved me." He said every word with a conviction that he didn't feel. Centuries had gone by since those days. Sango had vowed to Sesshomaru that her lost best friend had been in love with him. Even Inuyasha, before losing to his beast, had told him the same thing, yet, in the back of his mind, he had always wondered if she hadn't taken him as second best, since Inuyasha had always been gone with the dead one and had never truly loved Kagome the way she should have been loved. The Demon lord didn't know what hurt most, her purifying power or her hurtful words relaying to him everything he ever doubted about their relationship.

Looking at him straight in the eyes, she shook her head. "No, Losing him, never being able to come back… that was your fault. It always has been your fault. Inuyasha had loved me but YOU!" she said pointing her finger to the once Demon Lord "You defiled me. If I had stayed pure, if I hadn't strayed from my true love, I could have gone back to him!" She said screaming at him. "You made me dirty and I hated you! I HATE YOU!" she screamed louder. "I wish I could hurt you as much as you hurt me Sesshomaru!" was said in a small voice. Looking at the Taiyoukai, Kagome took a deep breathe, calming herself. "If what is showing in your eyes is any indication of what you feel … I know exactly what needs to be done." She said softly before letting herself fall backwards.

He ran to the ledge, reaching out to grab her, using his full demon power, throwing caution in the wind, but it was too late, she was already lying on the pavement below.

"KAGOMEEEEEEEEEEEEE" He sat up in bed, arm extended, trying frantically to reach to the evaporating girl. Panting, heart beating a hundred miles per hour, he let his arm dropped on his lap. This dream, it was killing him. He had been dreaming the same thing for two month now. Always the same place, always the same girl, always the same ending, but never the same conversation. He had tried to keep a tab on the style of the conversation, thinking that maybe they were communicating through sleep, and that she would tell him what she was… but he soon realized there was only a fat chance in hell that would happen. It was scary how this small slip of a woman could affect his life.

Pulling the covers and silver satin sheets off of himself, he sat on the side of his bed, and let his feet touch the cold ceramic tiles covering the floor of his bedroom.

His breathe had even out but his heart beats were still very high. This could not continue. The great Taiyoukai, the Lord of the West, recipient of the Best Psychiatrist of Japan Award, was reduced to a panting, almost crying, idiot at the thought of the death of a small woman he had knew in his past life. A woman he hadn't seen in over five centuries.… But mainly a woman he had loved and regretted never telling her so. He had been blinded by his pride and by his hate for humans. It had taken him nearly a century to understand the hollow feeling that he felt after she had jump in the well for the very last time.

Amazing that even after 550 years he could still feel her soft skin gliding against his as he kissed her lips, while buried in her soft passage. Her breast pressed against his hard chest, making her shiver in his arms, giving her pleasure as her nipples collided against his as he bumped and grinded against her. The attention he had given her was like nothing he had done before. Usually he would have taken pleasure, and never bother to check if the female was satisfied. But with her it had been different; he had been different. He had wanted her to want him back. He had needed her to need him too.

Remembering was always painful; painful because she wasn't there, but mostly because he always had to relieve himself manually.

After Kagome, he hadn't touched another female. Not that he hadn't tried but he couldn't bring himself to do so. Even though he was sure that she wouldn't get mad at him for touching someone else in all this time, even his beast wouldn't let him, and to tell the truth, neither would his more logic part. His body didn't react to any female attempt of seducing him. It was to a point that rumors were started that he was a "closeted" gay and that one day he would come out. Funny thing was, in almost 30 years, he had yet to come out as one. He didn't mind the rumors; they let him enjoy himself in company of woman, without any of them trying to get in his pants. On the plus side, when a new female arrived at the precinct, she was usually quickly informed that the very Kami looking man was actually out of reach. Those that were stupid enough to try to seduce him were quickly shut down – none too gently – as he continued to wait for the one he truly loved.

Looking around at the bed table, the little alarm clock indicated that it was 3:30 A.M. From the corner of his eye he saw the curtain of his open window puffing up from the gust of wind that entered his bedroom. There was humidity in the air, he notice, rain would be coming soon.

His bedroom was decorated with as much style this demon had. There were two small tables at each side of his bed made in cherry wood, which matched the headboard and footboard of his king size bed. The silver satin sheets were covered with a white colored comforter that had a central design of a moon in the blue color to match the one that he had on his forehead. To the left of the bed you could find two windows covered with blue drapes that were most of the time open in the summer. To the right of the bed you could find two doors; one was a walk-in closet full of Armani and Hugo Boss suits. The other door was his adjacent bathroom. The white ceramic tiles in his bedroom floors were the same that were covering his bathroom floor. The said bathroom was simple yet very masculine. In the corner stood a stainless steel and clear doors shower, next to it, you could find a white ceramic toilet, and to the side you could wash your hand in a white ceramic washbasin. The towels that were hanging on the stainless steel bar next to the shower stall were all white embroidered with a blue moon crescent in the right corner.

Pulling a pair of grey silk pajama pants, Sesshomaru left the comfort of his bedroom, to go get a glass of water in the kitchen. The kitchen wasn't very big. Dark brown colored cupboards and stainless steel appliances could be found in the small space. During the day, the walls had a beige tone color to match with the dark color cupboards, but this late at night the walls only seemed darker shade of gray. Sesshomaru had never been one to cook much, so he didn't see the need to have a big space to do such thing. Walking to the refrigerator, he opened the door and took out a bottle of water. Opening it, he was about to drink when a voice interrupted him. "You know if you keep screaming her name like that, the whole neighborhood is going to wake up." There, sitting at the table behind him was a red hair, green eyes kitsune. "Still dreaming of her I see. Ever thought of going to her parents' shrine?" The question was asked out of concern, he knew, but the Taiyoukai didn't want the kitsune's concern. "Leave it alone, will you!" he barked viciously. "Fine, don't bite my head off. Jeez!" The kitsune got up from his sitting position at the table and walked to the stainless steel sink, where he rinsed out his empty milk glass and deposited it. He was almost as tall as Sesshomaru. Five centuries had past since he had last seen his mama-Kagome, and each day he missed her tremendously. The kit could only imagine how it was for Sesshomaru.

Pulling at the strings that held his pajama bottom, the kit stood there beside his adoptive father. It had surprised the kit when Sesshomaru had suggested that he, Shippou, traveled with Jarken and Rin, which meant that he would be traveling with the Taiyoukai too. It hadn't taken long for the youngster to understand how the decision had been taken. Shippou had somehow retained Kagome scent on himself for more the three centuries, something that the Taiyoukai hadn't been able to do, and having the kit by his side had help him keep the insanity away. "Sesshomaru…" He said then stopped. Maybe it wasn't the best time to tell him what he knew about the miko that held a large part of both their hearts.

A more calm voice responded the kit. "What is it Shippou?" The kit looked up from his feet. This was not how had had seen himself tell the Taiyoukai, but it was better now then never. "I went to the shrine a month ago." He said simply. The full-blood youkai turned to look at him with question in his eyes. "She wasn't there, but there was a boy, a human boy, sitting on the step of the shrine, talking with her mother and brother… his name was Hojo and he was saying that the wedding date was set for July 24th."

What happened next was nothing compared to what his worst nightmare could have predicted. The beast took full control. Sesshomaru's eyes were blood red, and he was about to change into his humongous dog shape, when Rin entered the room, sleepiness lingering in her features.

Shippou heart faltered when he saw the beast look at his mate as if he was going to hurt her. "RIN GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!" the kit screamed at the top of his lung hoping that the fright he saw on her face wasn't paralyzing her legs. What he saw next made his heart beat speed up and animal instinct scream bloody murder. She took a step toward the beast, extending her arm as if to touch him. What was she thinking? His sensitive ears picked up on the little humming sound she was making, as if she was trying to calm Sesshomaru's demon. It would seem that it wasn't the first time she had done this, but still it frightened the Kitsune enormously.

Calmly approaching the still humanoid looking beast, she wrapped her arms around Sesshomaru's waist and said softly. "It's ok, Sesshomaru-sama, I'm here." As if her presence alone was enough to calm the beast. Surprisingly enough, she was right. The youki that surrounded the Taiyoukai receded, the blood eyes turned their normal golden eyes, and the menacing claws retreated, leaving behind the very humanoid form of the Taiyoukai.

Sesshomaru wrapped an arm around his daughter and rested his nose in her hair, breathing in her scent that resembled to the one he remembered to be his true love. Rin scent was a little more floral; sakura blossom and lilac. Rin didn't let go until Sesshomaru let his arms slide from her lithe form. Crooking her head to the side she looked up at the one Lord she ever cherished and smiled. "Are you feeling better milord?" she ask softly, all traces of slumber disappeared in her voice. The only answer she received was a small "Hn" before Sesshomaru walked out of the kitchen going toward his bedroom.

It had been a long time since he had lost all control over his beast, so long that the now very woman, Rin, had almost forgotten that if she held on tight to him, he would never change. Not totally, because his beast had always protected her, and didn't want to cause her pain. The one he saw as his daughter was after part of his pack, and Sesshomaru's beast would never hurt one of his.

Turning to her mate, Rin smiled softly. "You had nothing to be afraid for me Koi, you know Sesshomaru-sama wouldn't have hurt Rin." She walked to him and encircled his waist with her arms and kissed his naked chest. "Rin woke up and you weren't there." She said simply before leaving little love bites all over his chest, making Shippou growl in appreciation. "Rin was worried, you couldn't sleep again, but Rin heard Sesshomaru-sama growl and Rin had to come and check what was happening." Shippou trailed his clawed finger in her dark brown locks before answering her. "I'm sorry we woke you up. I told Sesshomaru what I saw the other day at the Kagome's parent's shrine. As you saw, he didn't take it very well." The Kit said as he felt Rin's hand gliding to his ass to squeeze one cheek playfully. Smiling wickedly at his mate, Shippou bend his head and started kissing her neck and nibbling on her jaw. "Let's go back to bed." He finally said, before wrapping his arm around her waist and guiding her to their shared bedroom.


End file.
